Me.
I hope next year treats you kindly, but above all else, I hope you treat you kindly.
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I don’t know what made me so drawn to you but I knew from the day that I first saw you that I wanted to know you. Even if it was just as a friend or acquaintance. I wanted to know everything about you. But now that you’ve given me the opportunity to know you, I realize that you are nothing more than some average person and the day I realized that, was the day I let go of the thought of wanting to know you. Because you never had any intention of being my friend, you just wanted to see me naked.
my uncle brought his one night stand to meet me in the hospital when i was born
i guess they’d just gotten back to his house when he got the call from my dad and they detoured to the hospital before i would assume going back to his place
but like imagine your otp
“i know we just met like half an hour ago and we definitely came here to hook up but like my brother just had a baby so would you mind putting this on pause for a bit? you can come meet her too she’s probably a really cute baby”
when my sister was born, apparently my parents just ran into him in the lobby of the hospital
they thought he’d somehow magically found out my mom was in labour and he thought they’d gotten his message to come pick him up
he’d possibly broken his arm playing beer pong apparently and was very drunk
apparently there was a confusing conversation in the lobby before my uncle decided to skip the x-rays he was supposed to be heading for and sit outside my mom’s delivery room and occasionally bring in vending machine snacks
i guess there was a minor panic probably considering he didn’t actually make it to x-rays until a few hours later after deciding labour was taking too long and the people at x-rays were really concerned on how long it’d taken this drunk guy to make it from the er to the x-rays
anyway, he made it back to my mom’s hospital room after my sister was born with a cast and the x-ray tech’s number
Your uncles got mad game dude
Just throwing it out there
If you’re the kind of person with “unfollowing anxiety” I want you to know it’s okay to unfollow me
I don’t care if we’re mutuals, friends in real life, family, whatever
You aren’t obligated to follow me, I don’t keep track of followers/unfollowers, I don’t “do inventory” and see if my mutuals are still following me, and I definitely don’t ever “call out” someone for unfollowing me
hard pill to swallow: there are some things that are not meant for you. you will meet people that are not willing to stay. there will be times that you will fail. but don’t be discouraged because alongside, you are meant to be something, you will meet people that will stay, and most importantly, you will get better.
favorite characters ≡ Ron Swanson
“Normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night if it meant that nothing got done.”
bob-belcher